I am living in Delhi since last three years. I have encountered many Muslim guys at my office and have many Muslim friends and acquaintances. So I would love to share my experiences about their views and thoughts because I am pursuing knowledge about Islam, Quran and Hadiths now a days.
Since Muslims guys working in firms or studying in universities and colleges in our country encountered many non-Muslim and Muslim girls . Since they know finally they are going to marry a girl chosen by their family (95% cases). From childhood they have been taught by their parents/ Molvi/ Madarso that dating is “Haram” , fornication is “haram”, even touching a girl who is non-mehram (a woman who is not his wife) is haram, flirting is Haram, etc. In-spite of these facts which is being taught to them since childhood they indulge in all kind of Dating, flirting, fornication and ditching. Why?
I know many guys since my childhood but always have maintained a distance from them till my college days. At my first job I got few Muslim colleagues who were interested in me and one out of them is very good friend of mine. So, like any other guys who want to show off about their number of girl friends and past relationship, he stated “ that I have been dating since class 7th , my first kiss was in class 8th, I have dated many foreign girl through online chatting, I have many online girlfriends with whom I chatted dirty , I was having countless girls as friend and girlfriends till now, I left my last office because I was in a relationship with a girl for whom I really have had feelings, but I can’t marry her because my family will not allow, so we broke up and she is dating someone else “it’s hurt you know”. You are sinning like a pro, now it’s hurt when she left you for her betterment. Now he was interested in me but cleared me that I can’t marry you as my family will not allow. Though we were good friends after that.
I was unaware of all those Islamic things for which he told me that he can’t marry me or any non-Muslim girl. So after sometime I came to know that they (his family’s people) can’t marry anyone because they are linked to some ancient Royal family, they used to marry within their cultures and same cultural people. First I agreed that okay fine, but I realized with time that he told me I am from a religious family and my family will decide where we will get married, we prefer a religious family. The same answers were given by my other friends living in Old Delhi areas that we can’t marry a girl whom we date because they are not in Religious DEEN.
Since I was not a born Muslim, I didn’t know about all those Islamic stuff and these facts is equal among all girls who are non-Muslim. But what wrong with you and your up bringing ? You know everything since your childhood still running after a girls like this. Getting into relationships and doing all Haram activities which is prohibited strictly in your religion and stated simply that “we have not put gun on their head to become my girlfriend, we have been into relationship out of our wills, but I can’t marry her because I can’t hurt my mother, it’s against Islam I will go to jahannum then” This is what you have been taught by your family as you have told me that you are from a religious family background? All those girls are orphan ? Remember they are also someone’s daughter, sisters and would be wife, they are non-mehram to you.
You Muslims follow all Prophets right? All Prophet Jesus (SAW), Moses(SAW) or Muhammad (SAW) are known for their character their respect they used to give women in their society. This is what you have learned from your family’s teaching or your Religion? Then surely something is wrong with your learning, because I am learning Islam I found nothing wrong in it, as you all are doing with it. You may go Jannah by the faith of your parents that’s great, but what about those thousand of emotions wasted on you by many girls hoping for love, they don’t have parents? And you are going to marry a girl of deen? Are you sure you deserve her after breaking so many faiths?
My point of view:
If someone left you in struggle or trouble don’t blame them. May be they are not raised properly since childhood. Be a role model to your children because whatever they do will be a consequence of your character which they have seen while they were growing up. In later life if they are indulging in hurting and betraying people or indulging in un-named relationships in-spite from being a religious family who prayed five times. Then they surely observed their elders in family doing so. Be a role model for your child they will follow you anyhow. Deen everyone is talking about deen but how many people are really following deen with Imaan?? Only five time prayers doesn’t make you a better Muslim you need to act as per the guidelines of Islam. Running after women, money, lust, luxuries etc, what happened to you? These is what you gonna teach your children, these is what you have been taught by your family? Wake up before it’s too late. Living each moment of your life with all haram activities you suddenly realize to marry a woman of deen, do you really deserve her? Don’t be a coward!!